The world is gripped in fear and rightfully so. Coronavirus is non-discriminatory and as democratic as it gets. For our own safety it is obviously best to avoid unnecessary contact which brings me to the subject of this particular musing. There is a void in all of us, a blankness that defies definition but it exists. Western culture has been and still is geared around achieving at all times, at any cost. Work for that dream, kill if you have to, don’t waste time, run little mouse run! You get the drift. This hamster like living is geared towards avoiding that blankness that exists within. We are scared of it. Some fill it with the mundane, pick your poison, just to avoid acknowledging that deep dark abyss. There is nothing, it is nothing and yet it is everything at the same time. The conundrum is enough to drive even the sanest of us over the brink.
Others like yours truly work ourselves to the bone, finding ways and means to make every nano-second filled to within capacity. Again all in an effort to avoid that void we do this and push ourselves to physical illness. I was unwell for an entire year after that void had enough of my nonsense and claimed what rightfully belongs to it. It claimed me, brought me to my knees and set me ablaze. Like the proverbial phoenix, I am rising ashes and all with intense majesty.
Our cultures have taught us to avoid the emptiness within, we must be in the malls, cinemas, games whatever you choose as long as you are surrounded by 6 million other people that you most likely do not know or may not even like. One must never be alone, that means they are a loner, a weirdo or whatever other derisive term is used to define that one who is attempting to be by themselves. Now in comes Coronavirus with no regard for our nonsense, the best way to minimize its spread is by minimizing social contact. But wait!! Society frowns upon those that do not engage in such contact at all times. How then does one bridge the gap between social conditioning and allowing oneself to take time out from all of it?
I have a friend that regularly asks whether I “have anything fun planned for the weekend?” This used to perplex me at the beginning because I saw the weekend as my time to step away from all the usual activities I had to take part in during the week. School run, work, socializing with other parents, filling up the car with gas. All these activities meant social interaction for me and come Saturday, I would be ensconced in my home with the children each of us minding our own business. In fact I value my home time so much I have inadvertently conditioned my children to detest sitting in the car to drive to random parties. 8 times out of 10 they will choose to stay home instead of going to whatever party they might have been invited to. They will only go to those parties for those that are truly their friends. I therefore did not really understand why he always asked whether I had planned anything.
Then Coronavirus arrived and it dawned on me, most of us do not know how to be alone. We are afraid of ourselves and the silence within us so we reach for cacophony. Amid the chaos of its spread, now is a good time to step back and allow yourself to be alone and maybe, just maybe start to embrace your own void. It will not devour you and you may learn a thing or two about yourself that you would otherwise miss when engaged in neuron-numbing social interaction that takes more away from you than it may give in return.
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